


Eventual Life of Joy

by thequidditchpitch_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Book 6: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Drama, Order of the Phoenix - Freeform, Romance, Wizarding Wars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-02-12
Updated: 2006-02-12
Packaged: 2018-10-27 14:23:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10810803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thequidditchpitch_archivist/pseuds/thequidditchpitch_archivist
Summary: What is the definition of the relationship between Severus Snape and Narcissa Malfoy?  Is it merely trust or something more?  Follow my portrayl of the events of HBP and decide for yourself.





	Eventual Life of Joy

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Annie, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Quidditch Pitch](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Quidditch_Pitch), which went offline in 2015 when the hosting expired, at a time I was not able to renew it. I contacted Open Doors, hoping to preserve the archive using an old backup, and began importing these works as an Open Doors-approved project in April 2017. Open Doors e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Quidditch Pitch collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thequidditchpitch/profile).

  
Author's notes:

**A/N:** This was originally written for MNFF's monthly challenge on using a specific sentence from a list (I used 3). However, I missed the deadline and it wasn't accepted. I don 

* * *

Narcissa looked back with disbelief at the dark street she had come down. She had always known that Severus held a soft spot in his heart for her, but she never imagined he would risk facing death to do her a favor. The only man she could still admit to loving was her young son, and with his life in jeopardy from the mistakes of his father, she felt that Severus was the only one she could turn to.

Reaching the spot she had Apparated to when she first arrived at Spinner’s End, her sister Bellatrix turned back with a scowl on her face.

“Are you coming?” she spat.

“Oh, leave me alone Bella! Haven’t you done enough tonight?”

“You think ‘I’VE’ done enough?” she said acidly, “Ha, just wait till the Dark Lord finds out you went behind his back.”

“He won’t find out, because you’re not going to tell him.”

“I’m what? Who gave you the right to tell me what to do?” Bella screamed with rage.

“I never said I was telling you what to do! I’m just reminding you that I didn’t come here alone, and I’m sure the Dark Lord will take that into account with you as well!”

Bellatrix gave a loud, defeated huff and crossed her arms in front of her. “Fine, then do what you want. I’ll have no part in your self-destruction any longer,” she said with finality and Disapparated with a _pop_ , leaving her sister in solitude.

Narcissa looked at her surroundings quietly. Upon seeing a low rock wall behind her, she strode over to it and sat down. As the cold stone beneath her bit at her thighs through her thin robes, her mind raced back to Severus and the Unbreakable Vow. _How could he be so kind after..._

Her thoughts were broken, as heavy, wet droplets began to fall from the sky. They landed hard on her forehead and she pulled her hood up to shield herself from the moisture. She pulled her cloak tight around her, desperately trying to wait out the brewing storm. She was not ready to leave, and she was not ready to go back and face him.

The storm grew heavier, and she found herself looking imploringly down the street at Spinner’s End. Squinting through the curtains of rainfall, she could barely make out the small, dimly lit window of his residence. She stood, bracing herself from the forceful showers, still uncertain of the choice she was making.

She took a small step away from the wall and stopped again. _What am I doing?_ she asked herself again. All reason left as she argued one last time, _you’re just getting out of the rain_. She placed another foot in front of her and began a steady pace back to the small house she had just left. The sky lit up brightly; the lightning quickly followed with a loud clap of thunder, and the rain fell ceaselessly on.

Severus looked out of his small window at the unrelenting storm on the other side. _I hope she made it home ok_ , he thought as the thunder and lighting grew closer. Just as he was turning from the window, a brilliant flash of lightning lit up the sky again, and everything was illuminated, including...

He tore open the door and ran to her. She was soaked right to the bone, as her thin cloak did nothing to shield the torment of the sky. He pulled her inside, yelling for Wormtail to bring blankets, as he placed her in front of the fire. Brandishing his wand, he performed a quick drying spell on her dripping robes and wrapped a blanket tight around her when Wormtail returned.

“Narcissa, what were you doing out there in...in this?” he asked in astonishment.

“I couldn’t return home. I couldn’t face the evils that still linger in its walls,” she sobbed quietly, something she would have never done around Lucius.

Severus placed his arm shyly around her shoulders and she approvingly leaned into him for warmth. He summoned a large over-stuffed couch to their location in front of the fire, and helped her to sit, as she pulled the blankets tighter around her rain-chilled body. Sitting in silence, she stared vacantly into the crackling flames and her thoughts began to wander again. They drifted to silent feelings she had carried for so long, and had been running rampant in her mind all too often since Lucius had been taken to Azkaban.

_Why did I stay with Lucius so long after I fell out of love with him?_

Because Cissy, you were afraid of him, afraid of what he could and would do to you if you dishonored him by leaving.

_Severus would never harm me. He’s only ever been good to me. I’m the one that hurt him._

It’s not your fault he didn’t accept your relationship with Lucius

_I should have never had a relationship with Lucius._

You loved him once, remember?

_Yes, I remember...once..._

Her thoughts shot back and forth as her mind argued with itself. A battle was raging on inside of her and she was sure Severus could sense her tension as he gripped her shoulder a little tighter. _Oh Merlin_ , she screamed to herself, _he’s a Legilimens! He’ll know what I’m thinking._

The fear she possessed grew outwardly and Severus removed his arm from around her, placing it in his lap. “What’s wrong Narcissa?”

She didn’t answer, but merely looked deep into his eyes for the answers she so desperately needed. She was afraid of what might happen if he knew her thoughts. After all, he may have loved her so long ago at Hogwarts, but surely things had changed and he had moved on.

Her stinging glances told Snape that she didn’t trust him. He thought she would know in her heart that he could never intrude on her life in any form, but the glare from her crystal eyes told him otherwise. He knew he had to reassure her. “Narcissa, surely you know me better than that?” he implored.

Again she did not speak. Her only reply was the daggers that continued to shoot from her eyes. She pulled the blankets around her even tighter and crossed her arms huskily.

Her actions spoke more than her words ever could and Snape was hurt. He could not believe that after all they had been through, and after all he had done for her, she still didn’t trust him.

“Narcissa...Cissy,” he said starting over, “I would never use my talents to learn anything you chose not to tell me yourself. I value your trust and I could never do anything that might harm that connection.”

As he spoke, he noticed that Narcissa’s eyes had begun to soften with relief. His own confidence regained as he realized that he had not lost her trust after all. _She’s just upset and afraid_ , he told himself. “You can tell me anything Cissy,” he reassured her, “So do you want to tell me what’s wrong?”

Narcissa searched her spinning thoughts for answers. She desperately wanted him to know how she felt, but she was afraid, and she didn’t even know where to begin. As her thoughts lingered on Lucius’s face, rage set in and her emotions exploded. “Do you know what the saddest thing in the world is?” she screamed at Snape, throwing him off guard, “To love someone who used to love you...”

“Cissy,” Snape said in a soothing voice, placing a hand on her knee to calm her, “Lucius made his mistakes, but I’m sure he never stopped loving you.”

“You’re right,” she screamed again, “I stopped loving him. And in all the years I put up with the pain and fear of being married to him, I fell in love with someone else. Someone who kept me sane through all of his ‘mistakes,’ as you put them, and someone who once loved me in return. But that someone couldn’t possibly love me anymore.”

“When did you stop loving him?” Snape asked, barely taking in everything she had said.

She calmed slightly, but her voice was still elevated, “Draco’s first birthday.” With a questioning look for Snape, she continued, “it was the day I realized Lucius’s intentions for my little boy. It was the day I realized he wanted him to follow the Dark Lord.”

Severus squeezed her knee sympathetically. He chose not to push her anymore on the subject of her son, as he knew it would only bring up more pain that they had already been through that night. As the rest of her words finally settled into his consciousness, he felt more confused than he had before. “And...and this someone else you fell in love with,” he started with a stutter, “how do you know he doesn’t love you anymore?”

“Because, it’s been too many years. When I promised myself to the great Lucius Malfoy, I told my admirer that his love could never be. I told him to move on for his own sake. And I only assume that though it may have taken many years, he did finally get the courage to forget me.

Severus’s heart began to beat faster as he remembered when Narcissa had told him those same words the day she left Hogwarts for the last time. He imagined how many men she must have felt necessary to repeat those words too with her popularity. The only comfort he could give her was seven small words, “You can never forget your true love.”

Narcissa looked desperately into his eyes to understand what he was feeling, she saw the pain wash across his face as his eyes became glassy and moist, and she realized that he honestly hadn’t witnessed her true thoughts. She then realized it was up to her to tell him how she truly felt. “It was you Severus,” she said lowering her head in shame at confessing love to a man she was not married to, “it was you I fell in love with.”

Severus’s head popped up with confusion and interest. _Surely, she didn’t just say she’s fallen in love with me. It’s been so long that I’ve waited to hear those words and I never believed I would._ “M-m-me?” he stuttered with shock filling his voice.

“I’ll understand if you have moved on Severus. After all, it was I that told you to forget me,” she said as a hot tear rolled down her cheek.

“What I said was true Narcissa,” he said with a smirk, as he wiped the tear from her soft cheek, “you can never forget your true love. I never stopped loving you, Cissy. It was the one promise to you that I couldn’t fulfill no matter how much I tried.”

He embraced her tightly, and whispered in her ear, “I’ll protect you from him Cissy. I’ll protect you from all the evils in the world. That is my promise to you, a promise I will never breach, Unbreakable Vow or not.”

Narcissa tucked her head tightly into his chest and sobbed softly. She never imagined she could ever feel safe with what the world was coming to, but in his arms, she did. Her life of misery was coming to an end, and heading for an eventual life of joy. As she thought of her son’s safety, her own protection, and the man that would treat her right, she pushed her old life out of her head. With her past aside, and her future on the horizon, one last thought swept through her, _the hardest thing in this world, is to live in it._


End file.
